<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Show me your pain by Geradsredskittle666</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22438246">Show me your pain</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geradsredskittle666/pseuds/Geradsredskittle666'>Geradsredskittle666</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Regression/De-Aging, Anxiety, Child Abuse, Depression, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Physical Abuse, Psychological Warfare, Sexual comments from a parent to a child</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 10:53:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,362</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22438246</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geradsredskittle666/pseuds/Geradsredskittle666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Giles can tell something is wrong with Buffy, even if no one else seems concerned. He doesn’t realise how right he is until she is passed out in his arms and acting like a child. Warnings: child abuse (more inside). Pairings: Joyce Summers/Ted, Buffy/Giles as plutonic love, Buffy/Scooby gang friendship. Spoilers: Ted (S2E11)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rupert Giles/Buffy Summers, Ted Buchanan/Joyce Summers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: Buffy the vampire slayer and its trademarks and other properties are not my property. I do not make and do not intend to profit from this work in any way. This work is a fan creation using these characters in a creative work intended as entertainment only. <br/>I do not give permission for anyone to take this work and post it elsewhere, unless explicitly given permission from me. If linked, shared or given permission to repost in any amount of words, credit must be correctly given to me as the author of this work and the rightful owners of Buffy the vampire slayer as the owners of source material.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all its characters and trademarks are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Twentieth Century Fox and any unmentioned that I may have forgotten to list. I write this work for entertainment and make no money off it in any compacity. I do not intend to make profit from this work.</p><p>Pairings: Joyce Summers/Ted, Buffy/Giles as plutonic love, Buffy/Scooby gang friendship.</p><p>Warnings: child abuse, scenes including physical child abuse, depression, anxiety, mentions drugging others without consent and to control them, father characters making comments containing sexual content to daughter characters (no sexual abuse though but its still creepy and potentially triggering), father character assuming ownership of daughter character’s personhood, psychological mind control, mental age regression in response to trauma.</p><p>FYI, Ted is seriously creepy in this. Not child molester creepy, but seriously creepy.</p><p>Summary: Giles can tell something is wrong with Buffy, even if no one else seems concerned. He doesn’t realise how right he is until she is passed out in his arms and acting like a child.</p><p>Spoilers: Ted (S2E11)</p><p>AN: This is taking the Ted episode and extend it to a full story. I did previously write a story where I added a missing scene. This story is a new one and AU. I am just very inspired by this ep, it felt like there was so much not included.</p><p>START</p><p>Buffy dressed, making sure all her injuries were covered. Her ribs were bandaged, Ted had probably bruised them..she hoped. A broken or fractured rib wouldn’t help things. She was still in pain though but could move. Her head hurt badly but she would just have to live with it. Missing classes was something Ted couldn’t allow. He didn’t allow many things but he was really tough on her about school. Her grades were awful and he would beat her every night until they looked better. That meant she didn’t get to miss school or work on non school activities unless she snuck out.</p><p> </p><p>Her mother smiled at her, though it seemed off as if she was in a haze. “Doesn’t that dress look nice! Are you ready for me to drive you to school?” she asked chipper. She had been happier of late, maybe it was love but it didn’t seem entirely realistic. Or maybe Buffy was too cynical when it came to love.</p><p> </p><p>She replied with false cheer. “Ready when you are mum! Goodbye Ted!” she called, trying to sound excited.</p><p> </p><p>He looked up from his spot at the table for a moment, she felt his eyes inspect her form and tried not to shudder at the violation she felt. She passed his inspection. She knew he had been assessing how “appropriate” her clothing was. The first time he had seen her in a short skirt and tight shirt, he had gone crazy on her. He had explained she was only “asking for trouble” wearing such “disgusting” clothing that “revealed too much skin”. She had been “flashing her panties and bra like a slut”. She needed to “respect herself and her future husband more but not acting like a whore”. How was she to attract a “nice young man who would bless her with children” if she just “gave herself away to every boy who stared”. She had been stunned by his rampant violation of her free will and ability to make her own choices. What was wrong with dressing how she decided? What if she wasn’t interested in what her future partner, husband or otherwise, thought about how she dressed? What if she didn’t want to be a mother? What gave him the right to decide this for her?! But he had beat her severely and she had got the message. <em>Dress more conservatively and you won’t get hurt. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Goodbye Little Lady! Remember to study after school at the library. Your mother should be there to pick you up at 7.” he reminded her cheerily.</p><p> </p><p>She bit back a sarcastic response, he didn’t look evil or sound evil. At least not until he was. She would look like a brat. Who would listen to her if she confessed and they found out she was an ungreatful brat? The police would laugh and take her right home. “Right. Thanks for reminding me!” she answered with false respect. She had perfected the carefully measured respectful tone, it seemed to appease him. The more pleased he was with her, the less he beat her. It was simple survival.</p><p> </p><p>The ride to school was quiet, her mother was humming a song and smiling happily. She dropped her off with a smile and cheerful “Have a nice day!”.</p><p> </p><p>Buffy walked as quick as she dared, eager to get out of view of her mother. She was tired. She was hurt. Keeping up the act was tiring her out and she was a slayer! She raced right past her friends and Giles, head down. She only slowed when hidden from view among the mass of teenage bodies in the hall. She didn’t need to worry about what her mother might report to Ted now. Who she was talking to or if she was late to class, or anything else that might result in a beating.</p><p> </p><p>A loud “Hey!” came from behind her, she flinched and spun around so fast her vision spun. Xander, Willow and Giles stood there, looking mildly concerned.</p><p> </p><p>She forced a grin, pretending her heart wasn’t going a million miles a minute. “I didn’t see you! Are you ready for the test in third period?” she asked eagerly, hoping to distract them. She knew Xander would be distracted deflecting his feelings of failure into a false “pride at his D average”. Willow would be excited and would want to know if she could help them prepare. Xander and Willow took the bait and started talking. Giles was looking at her like she was an old text that needed translating. What did he think he knew? Had he guessed anything that was actually true? She needed to throw him off the scent. Maybe after her head stopped spinning though. She had to think of a story that would seem believable.</p><p> </p><p>He didn’t say anything but he didn’t look pleased. His knowing look pierced her soul, and she was hiding major panic. What if he reported suspected abuse? What if the police came to ask Ted if that was the case? She would be dead.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Buffy's attempt to gain some comfort goes wrong.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all its characters and trademarks are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Twentieth Century Fox and any unmentioned that I may have forgotten to list. I write this work for entertainment and make no money off it in any compacity. I do not intend to make profit from this work.</p><p>Pairings: Joyce Summers/Ted, Buffy/Giles as plutonic love, Buffy/Scooby gang friendship.</p><p>Warnings: child abuse, scenes including physical child abuse, depression, anxiety, mentions drugging others without consent and to control them, father characters making comments containing sexual content to daughter characters (no sexual abuse though but its still creepy and potentially triggering), father character assuming ownership of daughter character’s personhood, psychological mind control, mental age regression in response to trauma.</p><p>FYI, Ted is seriously creepy in this. Not child molester creepy, but seriously creepy.</p><p>Summary: Giles can tell something is wrong with Buffy, even if no one else seems concerned. He doesn’t realise how right he is until she is passed out in his arms and acting like a child.</p><p>Spoilers: Ted (S2E11)</p><p>AN: This is taking the Ted episode and extend it to a full story. I did previously write a story where I added a missing scene. This story is a new one and AU. I am just very inspired by this ep, it felt like there was so much not included.</p><p>START</p><p> </p><p>She soon found herself at the library, waiting to be picked up at 7. She grabbed her books and started studying...or trying to. Her head throbbed unpleasantly. She could barely concentrate on the words on the pages or writing. She felt so dizzy that she might pass out. But if she failed, Ted would be displeased. She knew what that would mean. So she focused and soon had coherent notes written down. Proof of her work. As long as she had proof she was studying and not hanging out with her friends, she didn’t have to study at home. At home Ted ran the show and he could easily supervise her studying, making life difficult. The library was a safe place, well safer. He couldn’t beat her here. Plus she could justify spending time with her friends and Giles, as long as they studied. So she made her notes with determination. Protecting her small haven.</p><p> </p><p>Giles had been watching her carefully. She was injured, he was sure. She was definitely in pain. She was definitely concussed. She was protecting her left side. Why would she hide that from him? Why hadn’t she visited him after patrol so he could tend to the wounds? Why wouldn’t she tell him of a demon or vampire that was this much a threat?</p><p> </p><p>It was more than that though; the more he looked, the more he didn’t like what he saw. She was far from okay. She wasn’t happy at all, she seemed depressed. All her smiles were fake, as did seem most of her emotions lately. What was she masking? She seemed more emotionally numbed and tired than anything else. She was pale and tired, had she been sleeping? Was it nightmares again or just stress? She seemed to have lost weight too, he couldn’t tell just how much, but it worried him. Was she just depressed?</p><p> </p><p>Her behaviour had changed too. She had been wearing less revealing outfits. She had been studying obsessively. Every waking moment had been dedicated to reading or listening to teachers or making notes. Her grades had started improving but that couldn’t be the only motivation. She had never been this dedicated...he was, of course, happy she was finally working on her grades but the change felt so sudden. Too sudden. She studied like her life depended on it. He didn’t like how that thought made him feel sick.</p><p> </p><p>“See Giles, I can study!” she joked, grinning at him. It seemed genuine. “Can you help me study for my history test?” she asked shyly. She wasn’t supposed to be talking to Giles. He was a “bad influence” and an “enabler of her trouble”. She had been talking to him less and less...but she missed him. She missed their bond. She missed his gentle affections that were so different from Teds harsh abuse. Was it so bad to want just a moment of comfort? Just a second in Giles comforting presence? I mean surely tutoring didn’t count as trouble? Tutoring was good, tutoring was studying. If studying was good, so was tutoring, right?</p><p> </p><p>Giles covered up his surprise, she had been acting distant lately. “I’d ask whats gotten into you but you would probably just tell me about some hot boy in your class.” he joked to put her at ease. “I will teach you anyway, I’m sure improving your grades is important to your mother.” he accepted.</p><p> </p><p>For a moment, just a moment, she had looked panicked but it passed. She listened to his voice intently as he started tutoring her. It seemed like a dream, as if it was like before Ted had become her dad, until she heard the doors open and saw her mother. She was in for it! She tried to hide her panic.</p><p> </p><p>“Your actually studying! I see you are really serious about improving your grades.” her mother commented proudly, although the warmth in her tone sounded muted.</p><p> </p><p>Buffy schooled her expression instantly. “Yes, Mr Giles is an expert on history. He has been a huge help.” she commented eagerly.</p><p> </p><p>Giles looked on with hidden concern, why should Buffy validate why she was with him? Why did it matter so much? Why did she look nervous?</p><p> </p><p>But he watched her leave, still feeling that sick feeling he had earlier. Something was happening that was terrifying his slayer.</p><p> </p><p>BGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGBGB</p><p> </p><p>They arrived home to the smell of dinner. “So, what did you get up to today Little Miss?” he asked dangerously, as if he already knew her secrets.</p><p> </p><p>“I studied at the library.” she answered, handing her notebook over. He looked it over painstakingly and finally looked pleased. “Good, I’m pleased to see you trying your best.”</p><p> </p><p>“Isn’t it great, dear? She really is trying! You should have seen how focused she was with Mr Giles!” she commented proudly.</p><p> </p><p>Buffy tensed. Why would her mother tell him that? Her mother knew that would earn her a beating! Her mother loved her, right?</p><p> </p><p>Ted frowned. “Can we talk upstairs, Little Lady?” he asked dangerously.</p><p> </p><p>She had no choice other than to follow him. As soon as he entered her room, he smiled at her with malicious glee. “You know Mr Giles is off limits.” he yelled, slapping her. The force sent her stumbling to the ground. “I know it sounds cruel, but your just a girl. You don’t know how dangerous older men can be.” he explained, sounding almost caring, right before he kicked her injured rib. “Some older men like younger girls. Like you. They prey on the poor defensively female mind and make it seem like they care. Its sickening. I don’t know this Mr Giles but he is in quite the position! You would hardly be at fault if you loved him.” he explained tenderly, pressing his boot to her wrist as she whimpered in pain. “But he doesn’t love you back, not in the way your feeble female mind thinks. He just wants to use you, discard you. Then what respectable man would want you? I am only protecting your future” he finished, finally releasing her wrist. Tears streaked down her face and she could barely think past the pain to contemplate what he had implied about Giles. Or about her worth as a human being.</p><p> </p><p>Then he smiled cruelly and pressed his boot to her injured ribs. She tried to ignore the pain but it became too much and she whimpered again. He removed his boot. “Now, you will repeat after me: Mr Giles is off limits.”he ordered, before pressing the boot to her injured ribs again.</p><p> </p><p>She was too tired to resist. “Mr Giles is off limits” she repeated.</p><p> </p><p>He wasn’t convinced. Her ribs seriously hurt, she struggled to think about about anything but the pain and how she wanted it gone.</p><p> </p><p>“Mr Giles is off limits” she repeated, sounding defeated.</p><p> </p><p>He nodded knowingly and brought his boot down on her left wrist. She heard a snap and she almost screamed. Lesson learned. <em>Mr Giles is off limits.</em></p><p> </p><p>He left her there, she heard him make an excuse for her at the dinner table.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Enough is enough, Buffy seeks Gile's help.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all its characters and trademarks are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Twentieth Century Fox and any unmentioned that I may have forgotten to list. I write this work for entertainment and make no money off it in any compacity. I do not intend to make profit from this work.</p><p>Pairings: Joyce Summers/Ted, Buffy/Giles as plutonic love, Buffy/Scooby gang friendship.</p><p>Warnings: child abuse, scenes including physical child abuse, depression, anxiety, mentions drugging others without consent and to control them, father characters making comments containing sexual content to daughter characters (no sexual abuse though but its still creepy and potentially triggering), father character assuming ownership of daughter character’s personhood, psychological mind control, mental age regression in response to trauma.</p><p>FYI, Ted is seriously creepy in this. Not child molester creepy, but seriously creepy.</p><p>Summary: Giles can tell something is wrong with Buffy, even if no one else seems concerned. He doesn’t realise how right he is until she is passed out in his arms and acting like a child.</p><p>Spoilers: Ted (S2E11)</p><p>AN: This is taking the Ted episode and extend it to a full story. I did previously write a story where I added a missing scene. This story is a new one and AU. I am just very inspired by this ep, it felt like there was so much not included.</p><p>START</p><p> </p><p>Morning came and she managed to pull herself into a sitting position with a whimper.</p><p> </p><p>She grabbed the first aid box under her bed and quickly wrapped her wrist and ribs. Then she dressed carefully and packed for school. The pain had faded slightly for now but she didn’t want to risk bumping the injuries. She really didn’t want to pass out. Then someone might call an ambulance and she would really be in trouble.</p><p> </p><p>She really didn’t feel well but she didn’t have the luxury of avoiding school. She felt dizzy and nauseous, probably from the pain...or the concussion. She felt weak, she remembered she had missed dinner, not that she ever ate much of Teds food anyway. She always felt not herself after she did. She felt exhausted. Beyond exhausted. She was pretty sure a newly turned vampire could kill her in this state. She would probably let it.</p><p> </p><p>As the day went on, it only got worse but she wasn’t giving in. She managed. She excused her behaviour as merely feeling sick, maybe the flu.</p><p> </p><p>By the end of the day, she felt exhausted. She felt sick. Her injuries hurt. Her ribs and wrist were almost too painful. It was too much. Ted had gone too far. She couldn’t return there. She wouldn’t. She just knew, and she only had a few hours to change her fate. She had to tell Giles everything. No one else could help. She needed a plan.</p><p> </p><p>She went to the library as usual after school. She pulled out her notebooks. What should she write?</p><p> </p><p>‘<em>Giles, help me. Don’t send me back home. Don’t call an ambulance. He will kill me. </em><em>Please save me. </em><em>My life is in your hands.</em><em>’</em></p><p> </p><p>There, that would work. She could see him giving her concerned glances and decided to act. “Can you help me with history again?” she asked innocently.</p><p> </p><p>He nodded, looking pleased. He grabbed her note book and stared at it. She didn’t miss the way his eyes darkened with anger or the way he was clenching his hands into fists. He didn’t miss the way she flinched violently. “We can study with some texts I have at home.” he announced carefully, looking her in open concern now. He hadn’t meant to frighten her.</p><p> </p><p>She could relax now, her plan had worked. She was being saved. She could finally pass out. She didn’t have to be strong anymore.</p><p> </p><p>Giles panicked when she went limp and carefully extracted her and took her to his office. He lay her on the small lounge, finally able to inspect her fully. She was breathing and her vitals were okay. He checked her bandaged wrist, it was an ugly dark purple and obviously broken. A boot print showed how it bad been done. She must have been in so much pain! He was angry to find more bruising on her arms and face. More evidence of half healed injuries. He carefully removed her shirt and gasp in horror. A few ribs had been fractured, another boot print and bruise evident. He inspected her head and found a fairly bad head injury too. He had right about her recent weight loss. She had lost far too much weight. How had he allowed her to get into this condition?! What if she had died?</p><p> </p><p>He would take her to his house and allow her to recover there. He was sure of this.</p><p> </p><p>He was startled by Joyce calling his name. He left the office, locking it. “Can I help you with anything?” he asked her.</p><p> </p><p>She smiled at him “Is Buffy here?” she asked, not really sounding concerned.</p><p> </p><p>Giles shook his head. “She left about an hour ago. She said she was heading home. I assumed you were waiting outside like usual.” he lied.</p><p> </p><p>“I told her 7...maybe she just forgot! I guess I will check there. Thanks.” she replied, sounding remarkably unconcerned. That wasn’t like her at all.</p><p> </p><p>Something was going on in the Summers home. He was sure. He had best keep his rescue a secret until he knew who to trust. He returned to his office.</p><p> </p><p>Buffy was awake now. She seemed dazed and confused until she saw him. Her eyes found him and she smiled. The rescue hadn’t been a dream after all!</p><p> </p><p>He took out the first aid kit. “Lets get you patched up. I sent your mother away. I won’t be sending you home, I can tell something is off.” he promised seriously.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks” she managed, though it seemed to take much of her energy.</p><p> </p><p>He got to work on her injuries. He rewrapped her wrist and ribs. “I’ll give you something for the pain in a moment. You must be careful not to bump your injuries.” He advised gently, before injecting her with the medicine. He sat by her, as it took effect and she relaxed. She was vaguely aware of a pleasant floating sensation that gave her serious deja vu. But she was safe, this she knew.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Giles learns just how much Buffy has been affected by the trauma.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all its characters and trademarks are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Twentieth Century Fox and any unmentioned that I may have forgotten to list. I write this work for entertainment and make no money off it in any compacity. I do not intend to make profit from this work.</p><p>Pairings: Joyce Summers/Ted, Buffy/Giles as plutonic love, Buffy/Scooby gang friendship.</p><p>Warnings: child abuse, scenes including physical child abuse, depression, anxiety, mentions drugging others without consent and to control them, father characters making comments containing sexual content to daughter characters (no sexual abuse though but its still creepy and potentially triggering), father character assuming ownership of daughter character’s personhood, psychological mind control, mental age regression in response to trauma.</p><p>FYI, Ted is seriously creepy in this. Not child molester creepy, but seriously creepy.</p><p>Summary: Giles can tell something is wrong with Buffy, even if no one else seems concerned. He doesn’t realise how right he is until she is passed out in his arms and acting like a child.</p><p>Spoilers: Ted (S2E11)</p><p>AN: This is taking the Ted episode and extend it to a full story. I did previously write a story where I added a missing scene. This story is a new one and AU. I am just very inspired by this ep, it felt like there was so much not included.</p><p>START</p><p>When she woke again, she was in a bed that wasn’t her own. Momentarily confused, she panicked. Giles rushed to her aide but the sight of him only brought more panic, she wasn’t supposed to be here! All she could think of was a sudden sensation of pain that overwhelmed her, but it felt like something of a nightmare, not physical pain. She didn’t know where it even came from but it felt like he was causing it!</p><p> </p><p>Giles POV</p><p>She is awake but something is wrong. She looks disoriented. Scared.</p><p> </p><p>I try to comfort her by gently holding her hands, it never fails...until now. She reacts to me, looking at me in horror. I don’t understand and it breaks my heart.</p><p> </p><p>She seems to recognise me...but how could <em>I</em> bring her such pain? She pulls away violently, and I immediately think of her broken wrist. “Please. Please. Please. Please don’t hurt me. Why does it hurt? Can you tell me why it hurts? Why do you hurt me like this? I promised. I promised. Please take me home. This is a bad idea, I can’t see you. I promised. It hurts. It hurts so much. Why does it hurt? Why do you hurt? I don’t get it.” she babbles, whimpering in pain. She shouldn’t still be in pain so what does she mean when she says it hurts?</p><p> </p><p>Her frightened and childlike state frightens me more than I can admit. She is like a broken doll.</p><p> </p><p>She is struggling to breathe, and I can tell she is having a panic attack. I try to comfort her but she screams and shuffles away, with no thought to her injuries. She curls up tightly, her eyes closed.</p><p> </p><p>“Its going to be okay.” I soothe and attempt to get closer to her. It seems to work. Like usual. I will ponder the strangeness of that later. I quickly but gently inject her with a sedative and she goes limp.</p><p> </p><p>After a few moments to calm down, I place her back in the bed and pull the blankets over her.</p><p> </p><p>I don’t understand what just happened. Was she really seeing me or someone else? I couldn’t inspire such fear.</p><p> </p><p>And why would my appearance frighten her but not my voice? Something wasn’t adding up. I know Ted is behind this. He has to be.</p><p> </p><p>I head to the lounge and settle with a book. My mind is restless. Somehow I must have slept, for I am waking up to someone pulling on my arm. Its Buffy, looking in serious need of comfort. I push away the sleep and sit up. She slides in beside and hugs my arm, head on my shoulder. I know what this means. “Nightmare?” I prompt.</p><p> </p><p>She nods, wide childish eyes imploring me to help. “Bad man.” is all she manages to say in explanation.</p><p> </p><p>“Its okay. Nightmares are not real. Your safe here. Besides, I think I can understand.” I comment.</p><p> </p><p>She pauses, frowning. She is acting like a young child, concerning but not exactly out of character for her trauma. “Nightmare.” she guesses still speaking like a child.</p><p> </p><p>I smile. “Yes, Little One. I had a dream you were scared. You were hurt. I was very afraid for you. I was very upset for you, I hate seeing you in pain.” I explain kindly. Did I just call her Little One? I know she is acting like a young child but I didn’t mean to treat her like a kid.</p><p> </p><p>She smiles and snuggles into my arm. I guess she liked the accidental term of affection. Maybe she needs to be a young kid, if only for this brief moment.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to make you some food. Okay?” I offer.</p><p> </p><p>She pulls a face. “Will it make me feel funny? I don’t wanna feel...not me” she asks.</p><p> </p><p>I have to control my anger. Still I have to check. “Did the food at home make you feel funny?” I ask carefully, not wanting to frighten her into silence.</p><p> </p><p>She nods. “Felt like...” she thinks. “Clouds. But I couldn’t get back to earth. Stuck.” she explains.</p><p> </p><p>Was Ted drugging the food? Was that why Joyce seemed so unconcerned for her daughter? Why Xander and Willow hadn’t shown any concern yet? It sounded that way.</p><p> </p><p>“The food I make won’t make you feel that way. You can take a bite and check for yourself, sound good?” I reply. She needs to eat.</p><p> </p><p>She nods, satisfied. I breathe a sigh of relief. I didn’t want to force her into eating. I make two peanut butter sandwiches and make some tea. Though maybe she would prefer juice? American kids didn’t seem fond of tea.</p><p> </p><p>I place down the tray of sandwiches and tea, before going to get some orange juice. “You don’t need to do that. I don’t mind tea.” I hear her say and find her behind me. I smile, she is such a sweet girl, who could think of harming her?</p><p> </p><p>“Then I suppose I should pour you a cup.” I reply.</p><p> </p><p>We sit and she takes a bite of sandwich. After a minute, she looks decided. “Its good!” she declares, wolfing down the sandwich. “Take your time. I don’t want you to be sick” I urge. She really doesn’t need her meal coming back up!</p><p> </p><p>Together we finish the sandwiches and the tea. She looks content. “I like tea because I like you” she says. I sort of understand. “When it hurts, you give me tea. You make me feel better. So tea makes me feel...” she tries to think of the word. “loved” she manages, in a whisper.</p><p> </p><p>It feels strange hearing her speak about her adult memories when she is emotionally regressed like this but I feel warm all the same. She had sounded afraid of being loved...she shouldn’t be. “Thats because I love you, Little One. Your the daughter I never had.” I reply. She needs to know that being loved isn’t something to fear. I won’t let her think that.</p><p> </p><p>She looks uncertain, looking at me as if searching for a lie. A trick. Then she starts crying and hugging my arm. I manage to wrangle her lithe body into my arms, where she continues to cling to me and sob. I hug her back tightly. I swear I will protect her from Ted. He must have been really awful to turn the strong slayer into this sobbing girl. Still, whether she is my slayer or just an ordinary girl, I will take care of her.</p><p> </p><p>When she finishes, she is exhausted. “You should rest.” I urge.</p><p> </p><p>She shakes her head stubbornly. “Big One, stay!” she announces.</p><p> </p><p>Big One? Is that me? She pulls my hand and looks up expectantly. “I take it I am this Big One?” I say.</p><p> </p><p>She rolls her eyes. She points to herself “Little One” then to me “Big One”. I can’t help but feel warm inside, even in this state, she trusts me.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, we should nap together then.” I concede and she grins proudly. The familiarity of it makes me smile and feel sad at the same time. She shouldn’t have needed to regress.</p><p>We settle in the bed and its immediately obvious she is craving contact. I allow her to settle in my arms. Young Buffy seems to always be craving some kind of contact. Some kind of affirmation that she is loved. Some assurance that she matters to her parent figures. It makes me sad and I am reminded of her nightmare. Hank Summers telling her that the divorce was her fault. The divorce must have been harder on her then he was aware. She was so unsure of the love she was given, treating it like it might shatter if she dropped it. Afraid that it might float away like a balloon if she let go of the string.</p><p> </p><p>For the first time since she arrived, I allow my mind to process whats happened in such a short span of time.</p><p>She had seemed so desperate when she had asked for his help...he was sure she was staking everything on the fact he would help her. She had been brave. She had trusted him, despite not trusting anyone. He was proud of her.</p><p> </p><p>When she had passed out, he knew helping her was the only option. He couldn’t deny her. Not when she was so badly injured.</p><p> </p><p>Her panicked freak out worried him. Did Ted do something to make her afraid of me? Some kind of mind game? She had been hysterical...something about me hurt her. She had been pretty badly injured...the night after I had tutored her. She had seemed nervous about being caught with me...was Ted so threatened by me that he had wanted her away from me? Was I the reason she had been beaten? The injured ribs and wrist had been made worse.</p><p> </p><p>I feel sick as I realise how she might have been tricked into fearing me. Ted must have tortured her, her ribs and wrist were testiment to that and tricked her into associating that pain with him. So that she would feel pain not a familiar friendship…breaking the bond they had, or attempting to at least. Of course it hadn’t worked.</p><p> </p><p>Her mind must have been unable to handle the abuse and pain...so she regressed.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>